Change your mind ~ change your body

Posts tagged “rough times

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About the year of 2014 and what is coming in 2015

Hello guys!

 

I know it has been so long since I’ve sum up my goings in here. But I promise I’ll try to do it more often this upcoming year. I have so many plans and my life has FINALLY started to roll to right direction – well, the direction I wanted it to go for so long!

If I should check how my promises for the year 2014 went. Here they are!

 

 

Saerwen’s goals for the year 2014!

1. STAY HEALTHY AS POSSIBLE

– Well I think I was surprisingly healthy, but towards the end of the year I had one flue and really bad stomach flue. Had like 5 flare ups during the whole year which isn’t much.

2. Get in to school – finally

– YES. Yes I did! I’m currently in school for becoming a laboratory assistant and going to definitely apply further after finishing this school. Now I feel like I’ve started to work towards my ultimate profession and it makes me feel super greatful.

3. Lose some fat and get my bf around 20%

– I didn’t get around 20 %, but I did loose some fat and gain a lot of muscle. Which is good. Although now looking back this promise I feel a bit silly, but hey, that’s what I wanted and that’s what I aimed for! Haha.

4. Live life

– I have experience so many new things past year. I went so see ice hockey, went on a cruice, got into this floorball team, got plenty of new friends… Woah. So much happend in this year. In good in bad. And I can say finally that I LIVED the year 2014.

 

Last year had in one of the most shcoking thing in my life. Never thought I would be experience that much pain as I did, even though I kind of understand it – believe it or not. Life is too short to live hoping your dream come true than making it true and I got cruel reminder about it. But I’ve moved on and let go of it. It hurt and almost tore me apart, but I’m stronger than that. I wish best of the luck all of them and have no hard feelings!

It’s been really amazing rollacoaster ride though. Not all that bad. So many people I wanna thank about this amazing year, but one above all is my bf. He’s been my rock when everything else has come falling down and I thank him for putting up with my sh*t. I got lucky, truly did! And the other is my family – having that one place to go and turn everything off is truly a blessing.

He’s also one of the main reasons I started playing floorball again. I didn’t have any faith in my skills and I still am a rookie taking consideration my age, but I never would have thought that I would be able to be part of something so amazing as my team. They are amazing, talented bunch of ladies and I am so honored to be able to practice and spend time with them. Go Welhot!

 

Here’s pictures about the year 2014 and the best parts of it!

 

 

 

 

So what am I wishing for the year 2015

1. Keeping my health as good as it is now

2. Be a much better floorball player

3. Be successful at school

4. Learn to be as positive person towards myself as I am towards others

 

This year’s wishes are actually more mental than physical. Yes I wanna keep improving my skills as a player but more importantly I want to learn deal with myself as a player. As this new me that I am these days. My life is hectic, my life is living a day by day hour by hour and can’t much schedule my life ahead. So I need to learn to except it and grow with it. It is a pretty amazing year coming and I wanna make the most of it!

 

Maria Saerwen

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When you need to be strong – but you don’t want to be

I have been seriously slacking pretty much in everything in my life lately. With this blog, with everything. But I have my own reasons, which I will share some of them here, right now.

 

Usually when the s*it comes down in my life it happens in a big way – it’s all or nothing with me. Not like one bad thing there, another one here, etc. Usually when the bad things hit me they hit all at once and this time was no different to the others. So my health started to show her temper when she didn’t wanted me to practice my split nor my squats.

Let’s make her hip joints inflame and she won’t even walk, now how about that?!

… You cruel bastard.

So yeah, my hips started to show sings of inflammation and serious pain when ever I moved. My right wrist got so stiffed that I could barely move it. I had to eat up my fears and go to my med store and start popping pills like Dr. House but in female version. I killed the biggest pain and was able to move again, thank God.

Then my many years long relationship had met its end. Like there wasn’t things going enough bad way this had to happen right now. Feeling so alone with everything I was so close to fall apart and start really popping pills to kill my emotional feelings as well. I was afraid of loosing control over everything, I needed to work and start to study for my entrance exams and…

But going through rough times before the survivor me took over and kept me from not falling into wrong path. With many tears and brutal mornings when I fought myself out of that bed I finally feel like I can breath again.

Sore feeling and sore body, but still moving on. Laughing with my ex and remembering our path I felt good that we could still be friends and work things out. I was able to open my books and start to study. Working out my core and rows I show the f*ck off to my body that it was me who was control, not her.

 

That’s the way you think, but wait and see–?!

Oh shut up already would ya?!

 

And I even singed up for basic salsa lessons for this spring. So life goes on, even with a steps you won’t see or don’t want to see.

 

I promise to write something nice next time!

Maria Saerwen