Change your mind ~ change your body

When you need to be strong – but you don’t want to be

I have been seriously slacking pretty much in everything in my life lately. With this blog, with everything. But I have my own reasons, which I will share some of them here, right now.

 

Usually when the s*it comes down in my life it happens in a big way – it’s all or nothing with me. Not like one bad thing there, another one here, etc. Usually when the bad things hit me they hit all at once and this time was no different to the others. So my health started to show her temper when she didn’t wanted me to practice my split nor my squats.

Let’s make her hip joints inflame and she won’t even walk, now how about that?!

… You cruel bastard.

So yeah, my hips started to show sings of inflammation and serious pain when ever I moved. My right wrist got so stiffed that I could barely move it. I had to eat up my fears and go to my med store and start popping pills like Dr. House but in female version. I killed the biggest pain and was able to move again, thank God.

Then my many years long relationship had met its end. Like there wasn’t things going enough bad way this had to happen right now. Feeling so alone with everything I was so close to fall apart and start really popping pills to kill my emotional feelings as well. I was afraid of loosing control over everything, I needed to work and start to study for my entrance exams and…

But going through rough times before the survivor me took over and kept me from not falling into wrong path. With many tears and brutal mornings when I fought myself out of that bed I finally feel like I can breath again.

Sore feeling and sore body, but still moving on. Laughing with my ex and remembering our path I felt good that we could still be friends and work things out. I was able to open my books and start to study. Working out my core and rows I show the f*ck off to my body that it was me who was control, not her.

 

That’s the way you think, but wait and see–?!

Oh shut up already would ya?!

 

And I even singed up for basic salsa lessons for this spring. So life goes on, even with a steps you won’t see or don’t want to see.

 

I promise to write something nice next time!

Maria Saerwen

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